After church today, I walked over to a girl I prayed for several weeks ago.
I knew she had a back surgery scheduled within the next week When I prayed for her I saw a picture of brand new cartilage entering her spine where it was presently bone on bone. A couple of weeks ago, I checked in with her, and to her knowledge, her back was the same as before she came for prayer. I’ve been holding her experience in my heart to see what step the Lord would have me take. The only thought I’ve had so far is to mention that when they take the next x-ray or do surgery that they may find new cartilage. There was no strong move to speak, declare, or convince… just mention.
I sat down next to her and asked how she was doing, with care in my eyes and heart. She told me how she was doing and seemed composed. I then asked, “Can I ask about your back?” She said “yes”. I asked, “When is the surgery scheduled?” She responded, “the thirty-first”. She told me that she was at peace with it. She said that she would like to be healed prior, however, she is at peace with going thru with the surgery and knows that God can use doctors too.
I watched my heart as I listened to her words. I told her, “I’m with you and I’ll be praying for you”. She thanked me. I started to tear up. My heart swelled. I found myself saying, “Either one of two things will happen… They’ll do the x-ray or start the surgery and notice new cartilage, or they’ll do surgery and you’ll still receive the end you want (relief from pain and discomfort etc.).” She thanked me. I could see peace wash over her. I smiled and gave her a hug, then returned to my seat.
My heart was moved, I was glad to talk with her and show her that I support her, and her decision to follow peace. Earlier, I could tell that she didn’t want to disappoint me and my faith for her healing. She may have wondered whether I accepted her decision to go forward with surgery. Now, I know that she knows, that I’m with her. I support her and want her best.
After church, I was musing over the happening and I heard the phrase, “love first”.
When we minister healing and are persevering to see people healed, it is paramount that we “love first”. What this means to me, is that we lead with love. Our desire to see them healed and to minister to them is second to showing our love for them. Someone may ask, how can you minister to someone and not love them? Simple, the action in and of itself, of prayer or ministry, does not equal love. Love is inward and can be expressed thru the action of prayer or ministry, but so can other motives or intents. One can minister to someone yet have malice in their heart for them. This may seem shocking, but examine Proverbs 23:7:
Proverbs 23:6-7 (NKJV)
Do not eat the bread of a miser,
Nor desire his delicacies;For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
“Eat and drink!” he says to you,
But his heart is not with you.
Outwardly the individual in the proverb is encouraging and giving, yet inwardly he doesn’t mean what he says.
Also, consider ministering to the poor:
1 Corinthians 13:3 (NKJV)
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body [a]to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
You can give your goods to feed the poor, yet not have love.
We can minister healing to someone, yet not start from the place of love for them from our heart.
I’ve found time and time again, that the person will respect and be open to me if they recognize my heart’s love and support for them, even if they don’t get healed
Often in the Gospels, Jesus was moved with compassion to heal the sick. This notes a strength of expression from the place of love, not from a desire to be seen, recognized, or be noted for His gifts.
Love first.