In B. E. S. T., at the end of the session, we check whether homework would be in the clients best interest. We test the various categories. One category relates to the client’s personal story.
Whether you realize it or not, you have created your life’s story. You have painted your experiences with your perception and beliefs. Two friends can be in the same setting and choose to perceive the scenario completely different. The two individuals emotional response and physical-chemical response to the same event can be polar opposites.
Why? Perception.
Just because something “happened to you”, doesn’t mean it happened the way that you thought. Your perception also known as perceived reality, can be contrary to the reality that you believe you are perceiving.
Case in point. You can call a friend who typically answers, but the didn’t this time. You call them back a week later and they still don’t answer or return your call. By choice you deduce and seem to perceive that they are offended at your comment. You saw the way they looked at you, when you didn’t agree with their recent life decision.
Because of your assessment, you now feel a flood of chemicals thru your body that give you the feeling of anxiety and a fight / flight response. Soon that triggers what happened when you were honest with another friend and you wonder if the friendship is at jeopardy.
To your surprise, your friend calls you back and apologizes that they didn’t see your call because they were traveling and the lost their phone.
Now the realization, that you by your perception caused your own stress sets in. In reality, as long as your friend was honest, there was no problem to begin with… except your skewed perception.
Meanwhile your close friend called them to, but didn’t think much of their lack of response and experienced no stress from the lack of a call back.
The circumstance didn’t create the feelings… you did. Namely, how you responded to the circumstance. Yes it was “real” to you, in the sense that you did “feel” what you felt. But it was generated by your perception not by an external source apart from your involvement.
All of that to say… what part of your story are you holding on to?
Is it serving you? Is it true? Or is it time to let go of some past beliefs about your experiences and choose to believe that today can be different than yesterday.
The challenge is in choosing now to change the belief we presently hold about what happened to us then. Redefine what may have happened, versus being so tied to our belief about what happened. See the good that came from what happened and the lesson that was available for us… and may still be.
If your story (perception of past experiences) can’t be revisited and reevaluated, with an open mind that your perception isn’t complete or may be inaccurate… then you may be holding on to an idol. Something that you revere and worship that is contrary to the truth of God, yet gives you some sense of value, comfort, relief from personal responsibility
(typically blaming another or God), or feeling responsible for something that wasn’t your responsibility (blaming yourself).
My challenge to you is to reevaluate the points of your pain and ask God to show you what the next step you need
But until I participate in His working, I will hold on to the meaning and beliefs that I have tied to my past story and past trauma.
What if true safety and freedom came from letting go, instead of holding on?
Selah… aka think about it.